Daily facts, Amusing, Fun, Funny Daily Facts

Vin Diesel Facts *part2

Another day, new facts, and more facts on Vin Diesel! Not much, but still, 300 facts are something to read while your drinking your morning coffe.

1. Vin Diesel is the son of Nostradamus and Jessica Simpson. It is unclear whether he inherited his good looks from his mother and his intelligence from of his father, or vice versa.
2. Once Vin Diesel had an epiphany and it resulted with the manifestation of all 57 varieties of Heinz (including the green and purple ketchup).
3. Vin Diesel is currently working an internship with the Frank Gehry architecture partnership, he intends to play a key role in the design of the new King Alfred Swimming Pool complex in Brighton, England. On the opening night of the project he will secret himself at the bottom of the pool and drink the entire contents, along with any unwitting swimmers enjoying the new facilities. He says novice swimmers taste the best.
4. Vin Diesel could never get the hang of Thursdays either.
5. Merely by flexing his left arm, Vin Diesel once caused an entire busload of nuns to spontaneously combust.
6. Vin Diesel is actually an incarnation of the Messiah, but he postponed the second coming to film ‘Fast & Furious 3′.
7. Vin Diesel likes to wear PVC because it wipes down easy.
8. Vin Diesel can tell how something tastes simply by touching it.
9. Vin Diesel was the culprit who ate Gilbert Grape. He would later describe the experience as “Similar in texture to panda meat , but not without its charms.”
10. Vin Diesel has a baseball cap made entirely out of ham.
11. Van Diesel was once mistaken for David Copperfield by a street gang and had to perform a random act of magic in order to be allowed on his way.
12. Vin Diesel was originally known as Vin Petroleum, but changed his name following a sponsorship deal with Texaco.
13. Van Diesel could touch type at the age of 3 and by the age of 5 was managing a successful secretarial agency.
14. Vin Diesel was once asked if he believed in the idea of reincarnation. His response was simply “I used to be a plate of pancakes.”
15. Vin Diesel cannot be killed by conventional weapons.
16. Vin Diesel owns a chain of fast food restaurants throughout the southwest. They serve nothing but pork rinds and Hot Pockets. A giant plastic Vin Diesel head spins around on a pole outside the franchises, shooting fireballs at passerby.
17. The idea for the show “MacGuyver” comes from the time Vin Diesel went on a road trip and single-handedly wiped out the entire population of Salt Lake City with his shoe and a paper clip.
18. When Vin Diesel finds a coin on the ground, he punches a nun. Vin Diesel rarely finds coins, and yet has punched more nuns than can easily be counted. Go figure.
19. It has been proposed by some people that Vin Diesel may not actually exist, and is simply a myth told to children to keep them in line. The reason these allegations are not well known is due to the fact that everyone who makes such allegations is found nude in a field with their skin removed and replaced by “Keep on Trucking!” bumper stickers.
20. Vin Diesel lines his trombone case with the souls of the damned.
21. “Vin Diesel” spelled backwards is “Leseid Niv”. When confronted with this fact in a recent interview, Vin Diesel pulled out a toilet plunger and stuck it to the face of the interviewer in a comical manner. Unfortunately, the interviewer suffocated to death. Vin was promptly arrested for murder, but was released 2 hours later when it was revealed that he is actually Santa Claus and thus has diplomatic immunity.
22. When Vin Diesel begins work on a new film project, he bludgeons a hobo to death with a hammer for good luck. For even better luck, he devours the corpse. For the best luck possible, he throws the bones at school children during recess.
23. For Halloween, Vin Diesel cuts down a tree, scoops out the inside, fills it with candy, and then stabs anyone who rings his doorbell. He then eats the candy-filled tree.
24. Vin Diesel sleeps on a bed of live hornets. Every single hornet is named “Pablo”.
25. Vin Diesel’s taste buds are located on his knuckles. Funnily enough, that same spot is his biggest erogenous zone. It is probable that Vin Diesel engineered such deformities himself so as to simultaneously have an orgasm and taste corn when he punches taxidermists.
26. Vin Diesel’s toilet spins counter-clockwise in the Northern Hemisphere.
27. Zeus got the idea for turning into a swan and impregnating women after watching Vin Diesel do precisely that while out drinking with Bacchus.
28. When the founding fathers decided that it would be necessary to coin money, they first had to consult Vin Diesel, who at the time had yet to create metals.
29. Contrary to popular belief, Osama bin Laden was captured in late 2002. This occured when Vin Diesel defeated all of al-Qaeda in a series of arm-wrestling contests. To make it fair, Vin was blindfolded.
30. Vin Diesel has only lost one competition in his lifetime - an eating contest with Kirstie Alley.
31. To prove Hugh Hefner that “it could be done”, Vin Diesel replaced all the members of the senate with identical robots that think and talk exactly the same way.
32. Vin Diesel controls all air traffic via an old SNES Advantage controller.
33. Vin Diesel can take digital photos by blinking,
34. Spelling Vin Diesel backwards out loud will reverse the rotation of the Earth.
35. Vin Diesel created the first designer cologne. It was never mass-producted unfortunately, due to the original being consumed one night when Vin ran out of vodka.
36. All of the characters in the movie “Big Trouble In Little China” were loosely based upon Vin Diesel.
37. Vin Diesel does not need a TV remote, for he can control any television in a 50 mile radius with his right eye.
38. Vin Diesel is actually the voice of Maynard James Keenan, Trent Reznor, Chris Cornell, and Amy Lee.
39. Vin Diesel created Furby, Razor scooters, and pogs.
40. Vin Diesel plays “The King” in Burger King’s Wake Up With The King TV commercials. He is paid in Angus beef.
41. Vin Diesel invented steak.
42. Vin Diesel came up with 97% of the famous quotes from Napoleon Dynamite.
43. “Tom” on MySpace is actually Vin Diesel’s fake account. MySpace was created by Vin Diesel as a science experiment.
44. The crater in the Yucatan Penninsula was created when Vin Diesel’s spaceship ran out of fuel and crashed into the face of the earth.
45. Area 51 is a secret utopian society founded by Vin Diesel, initially founded as a safehouse for his alien bretheren, but later opened to his most loyal followers.
46. Vin Diesel can walk on water, not because he is Jesus, but because the normal force as described by Newton in his modern laws of physics does not apply to him.
47. In order to gain lordship over Hell, Lucifer was forced to sell his soul to Vin Diesel.
48. The hair in your food is all part of a cruel joke Vin Diesel is playing on humanity.
49. Barq’s root beer has oft been called “the one with bite”, and thus far Vin Diesel is the only known being to have successfully bitten it back.
50. Vin Diesel is the reason you touch yourself at night.
51. Vin Diesel invented steak.
52. Vin Diesel came up with 97% of the famous quotes from Napoleon Dynamite.
53. “Tom” on MySpace is actually Vin Diesel’s fake account. MySpace was created by Vin Diesel as a science experiment.
54. The crater in the Yucatan Penninsula was created when Vin Diesel’s spaceship ran out of fuel and crashed into the face of the earth.
55. Area 51 is a secret utopian society founded by Vin Diesel, initially founded as a safehouse for his alien bretheren, but later opened to his most loyal followers.
56. Vin Diesel can walk on water, not because he is Jesus, but because the normal force as described by Newton in his modern laws of physics does not apply to him.
57. In order to gain lordship over Hell, Lucifer was forced to sell his soul to Vin Diesel.
58. The hair in your food is all part of a cruel joke Vin Diesel is playing on humanity.
59. Barq’s root beer has oft been called “the one with bite”, and thus far Vin Diesel is the only known being to have successfully bitten it back.
60. Vin Diesel is the reason you touch yourself at night.
61. The mere mention of Vin Diesel’s name has been known to bring Ultimate Warrior to tears.
62. An advanced alien race once created a computer that successfully explained the meaning of life; however, the alien race, their planet, and practically everything else ever to come in contact with them was immediately obliterated when they asked for an explanation of Vin Diesel.
63. Vin Diesel knows where all the cookies have gone, and he ain’t tellin’ you shit.
64. Vin Diesel briefly was the 23rd Phantom but was fired when it was discovered he had used Napster to download William Hung’s latest hit single.
65. Impersonating Vin Diesel is an offence in 23 out of the 50 states.
66. Only Vin Diesel knows where his ex-wives are buried.
67. Vin Diesel and William Shatner are like this *crosses fingers*
68. In a straight fight between Muhammed Ali and Bruce Lee - Vin Diesel would win.
69. Vin Diesel regulary attends ballet, but ‘only for the fashion.’
70. When Vin Diesel was four years old, a homeless man approached him and asked him for some spare change. Vin was so outraged at the homeless man’s audacity, that he went back in time and beat the homeless man’s ancestors to death in reverse sequence until he got back to Adam and Eve, where he took on the form of a serpent and tempted Eve to eat the forbidden fruit.
71. All of the socks you lose in the washing machine rest soundly on Vin Diesel’s mantle.
72. The New England Patriots’ Superbowl victories all occurred after the real team was replaced by Vin Diesel, disguised as an entire football team.
73. Google is not a standard search engine, as once thought, but rather, an e-mail sent directly to the brain of Vin Diesel, who then immediately e-mails back the warranted response.
74. Contrary to popular belief, Vin Diesel’s balls cannot be used as a life raft. They can however be used as a sea anchor for large cruise ships.
75. Vin Diesel is simultaneously the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. Except the Ugly part.
76. The giant stone ball in “Raiders of the Lost Ark” is actually a cast of one of Vin Diesel’s balls.
77. Vin Diesel is everybody’s Tyler Durden. So shut the fuck up and fight me.
78. Vin Diesel invented drugs so everybody could experience his life in brief spurts.
79. Vin Diesel invented Napster after overdosing on cheetos and motor oil.
80. Taking a picture of Vin Diesel’s penis is the key to immortality. Take a picture of the wrong one however, and he will take yours and add it to himself. Unless you’re a girl. Then he’ll make you one and take yours.
81. Vin Diesel resolved the Great Depression, invented vaccines and the internet, yet history will only remember him as “that guy from that xXx movie”. He has since bitch-slapped history in public, many times.
82. Vin Diesel owns a piece of the Agro Cragg…a glowing piece of the radical rock.
83. He has the ability to blend into his surroundings like a chameleon, but he prefers not to do it because he believes his body is, “too stunning to hide.”
84. Vin Diesel bodysurfed the tsunami in Southeast Asia.
85. Vin Diesel’s backhair naturally forms the word “Vanderspawn”, a word rumored to represent the antichrist.
86. Approximately 25,000 workers died during the building of the Panama Canal. This was all because someone coughed near Vin Diesel.
87. The Bank of America was originally entitled Vin Diesel’s Left Pocket.
88. Vin Diesel only wears clothing made from endangered species and lives solely off the meat of baby seals.
89. Vin Diesel likes to take the form of Catholic priests as a hobby in order to antagonize god for being a too much of a pussy to play him in a game of Scrabble.
90. Vin Diesel once attempted to shave Michael Moore’s neckbeard, but failed upon realizing that the hairs were actually tiny Malaysian children.
91. Vin Diesel doesn’t like dogs. He eats three a day, just for spite.
92. Vin Diesel wrote the book of Mormon because he wanted to beat up the people who thought it was real.
93. Vin Diesel is the only person to ever beat Battletoads without dying.
94. Vin Diesel has an elevator to Hell in his house, so he can visit his girlfriend Marilyn Monroe.
95. Vin Diesel drives a 1992 Geo Metro with a 2002 Dodge Viper engine.
96. Vin Diesel and Venus are the only planets that rotate clockwise.
97. Each day, up to 150 species of life become extinct because of Vin Diesel’s morning breath.
98. Vin Diesel created Canada out of confusion between Europeans and Americans.
99. Vin Diesel regularly visits Africa, to have his penis cut off; since it grows with every glass of water he drinks.
100. Vin Diesel and Bob Sagget had a meeting of the body and soul; their offspring is now in the process of writing “The Matrix: The Untold Stories of a Sexual Revolution”.
101. Vin Diesel doesn’t like dogs. He eats three a day, just for spite.
102. Vin Diesel wrote the book of Mormon because he wanted to beat up the people who thought it was real.
103. Vin Diesel is the only person to ever beat Battletoads without dying.
104. Vin Diesel has an elevator to Hell in his house, so he can visit his girlfriend Marilyn Monroe.
105. Vin Diesel drives a 1992 Geo Metro with a 2002 Dodge Viper engine.
106. Vin Diesel and Venus are the only planets that rotate clockwise.
107. Each day, up to 150 species of life become extinct because of Vin Diesel’s morning breath.
108. Vin Diesel created Canada out of confusion between Europeans and Americans.
109. Vin Diesel regularly visits Africa, to have his penis cut off; since it grows with every glass of water he drinks.
110. Vin Diesel and Bob Sagget had a meeting of the body and soul; their offspring is now in the process of writing “The Matrix: The Untold Stories of a Sexual Revolution”.
111. Vin Diesel ironically created the steam engine; the diesel engine was accredited to his son, Abe Lincoln the third.
112. It is said the world became round, once Vin Diesel stood at the edge.
113. Vin Diesel drinks the blood of Virgins with a slight hint of Paprika.
114. Vin Diesel created all the world religions, once his eyes tired of nude cave paintings.
115. Vin Diesels tongue is coated with spores; once these enter the body of a person they will become, he who is known as “I Am”.
116. Both Newton and Leibniz were inspired to create The Calculus when they witnessed Vin Diesels face on one of the many craters of the moon.
117. Many have speculated a link between Vin Diesel and Einstein, since Einstein is quoted as saying, “The only man who taught me was Vin Desel”, the mispronunciation of his name caused Vin Diesel to retire from all Scientific endeavors; now he looks for understanding in the “moving pictures”, as he affectionately refers to them.
118. Vin Diesel has been the writer for Wheel of Fortune for 32 years.
119. Vin Diesel experienced a great deal of writers block during the Renaissance. He created a pen name to rid himself of the curse, that name was William Shakespeare; although universally known, his most precious book was never published it went by the title “The Bald and Beautiful”.
120. Vin Diesel was the original Santa Claus, but then there was that one night…….
121. Vin Diesel encases the souls of his enemies in the bodies of Golden Retriever puppies.
122. Vin Diesel has no addictions, except that of a jelly donut every Sunday after Mass; which he only attends for the “funny stories”.
123. Vin Diesel can eat a piece of coal and shit out a diamond.
124. Vin Diesel once left his wallet in El Segundo.
125. Sdrawkcab delleps looc neve si Leseid Niv. (Vin Diesel is even cool spelled backwards)
126. Vin Diesel was created in 1978 when Frank Sinatra and Marlon Brando were electrically fused together during a freak accident in a sauna.
127. Vin Diesel bought his nose from Neil Young.
128. Vin Diesel keeps his mobile phone in his rectum and dials with flatulence.
129. Vin Diesel touches my tra la la.
130. Vin Diesel, after drinking two Red Bulls, was recently spotted urinating off of the Eiffel Tower into a strategically situated violin case. Despite 27 MPH crosswinds, his aim was uncanny, filling the violin case without missing with a single droplet.
131. Vin Diesel challenged Evander Holyfield to a boxing match, only to bite off his other ear. When asked why, Diesel responded, “I like ear.”
132. Vin Diesel’s penis is so long and thick, it is daily mistaken for a leg. He lost his left leg in a freak pizza eating contest accident, but was able to successfully disguise the loss by using his penis as a prosthetic.
133. For God so loved the world, that he gave his only son, and his son’s good buddy, Vin Diesel. Whoeverso believes in his son, and watches Vin Diesel movies, shall not perish, but have eternal life. Whoever forgoes the movies will burn for all eternity. -John 3:16 (more or less)
134. Vin Diesel can blink the alphabet in morse code.
135. Vin Diesel already knows the next thing you will type.
136. You think you know Vin Diesel, but you have no idea.
137. Vin Diesel broke up the Beatles
138. If you haven’t seen Alien vs. Predator yet, don’t bother, Vin Diesel wins.
139. Vin Diesel singlehandedly built the Pyramids at Giza, the temples of Chichen Itza, and the complex of Angkor Wat in 5 days using only an ice-pick and sandpaper.
140. While in Egypt, Vin Diesel had an affair with Isis. He grew a beard and assumed the name Moses, all in a clever ploy to flee Egypt and escape the wrath of Osiris.
141. There are 48 signs in American Sign Language for Vin Diesel.
142. J.D. Salinger once wrote Vin Diesel a note saying, “Do you like me? Yes O No O (Mark the circle)”. When Vin Diesel checked the “No” circle, Salinger was so embarrassed that he became a recluse. He has not published a book since, though he writes Vin Diesel and the Dalai Lama friendly letters every Tuesday.
143. Vin Diesel rejoins seperated siamese twins with his bare hands for his own ammusement.
144. Vin Diesel injected cookie-batter into his bowels, and then took a crap. Hence, Pocky sticks were born.
145. Vin Diesel eats his weight in Tom Cruise every morning.
146. Paradoxically, half of Vin Diesel equals one Vin Diesel. This means that one quarter Vin Diesel also equals one Vin Diesel, and on and on forever. The Vin Diesel that we perceive is the sum total of an infinite amount of Vin Diesels and his powers reflect this.
147. Vin Diesel controls the New York Stock exchange with his mind, but not the NASDAQ. He controls the NASDAQ with his heart.
148. Vin Diesel was offered twenty-five million dollars to provide an audio commentary for the third season of “The Golden Girls” DVD. He refused, saying he was busy doing the same for the first season of “Desparate Housewives”.
149. George Lucas wrote the Star Wars trilogy to be a one man show starring Vin Diesel, but Vin declined, saying it brought back terrible memories of his teenage years.
150. Vin Diesel’s screams can be heard in space.
151. There are 48 signs in American Sign Language for Vin Diesel.
152. J.D. Salinger once wrote Vin Diesel a note saying, “Do you like me? Yes O No O (Mark the circle)”. When Vin Diesel checked the “No” circle, Salinger was so embarrassed that he became a recluse. He has not published a book since, though he writes Vin Diesel and the Dalai Lama friendly letters every Tuesday.
153. Vin Diesel rejoins seperated siamese twins with his bare hands for his own ammusement.
154. Vin Diesel injected cookie-batter into his bowels, and then took a crap. Hence, Pocky sticks were born.
155. Vin Diesel eats his weight in Tom Cruise every morning.
156. Paradoxically, half of Vin Diesel equals one Vin Diesel. This means that one quarter Vin Diesel also equals one Vin Diesel, and on and on forever. The Vin Diesel that we perceive is the sum total of an infinite amount of Vin Diesels and his powers reflect this.
157. Vin Diesel controls the New York Stock exchange with his mind, but not the NASDAQ. He controls the NASDAQ with his heart.
158. Vin Diesel was offered twenty-five million dollars to provide an audio commentary for the third season of “The Golden Girls” DVD. He refused, saying he was busy doing the same for the first season of “Desparate Housewives”.
159. George Lucas wrote the Star Wars trilogy to be a one man show starring Vin Diesel, but Vin declined, saying it brought back terrible memories of his teenage years.
160. Vin Diesel’s screams can be heard in space.
161. Vin Deisel’s body is covered in overlapping armored scales, and he can digest the carcass of a goat in under an hour. He truly lives up to his reputation as King of the Lizards.
162. Vin Diesel doesn’t toss salads, he throws them.
163. Vin Diesel was once in a fight with Tony Danza over who would be called the big cheese. Danza lost and cried, so Vin told Tony he could be the boss.
164. One day Vin Diesel walked into a Wal-Mart Supercenter. His steps caused there to be an avalanche of falling prices burying numerous store employees.
165. Vin Diesel’s first name is short for Vinnaquinouliciopoulossiferstein. It is a traditional Swiss name.
166. Vin Diesel once taught a woman to love again by repeatedly punching her in the face.
167. Vin Diesel made a vow to only use his powers for good. However one night he got really drunk and killed a hooker. The police never found a body though, since Vin disposed of the corpse by unhinging his jaw and swallowing it whole.
168. Vin Diesel changed his name to Vin Diesel because his original name is unpronounceable by the human tongue.
169. God and Vin Diesel once made a bet for the souls of all mankind. The challenge was to see who could eat the most chicken pot pies in 60 seconds, which Vin Diesel won by 3 pies. He still hasn’t decided what to do with the all souls.
170. Vin Diesel is the ultimate paradox in that he does not think and yet he very much is.
171. Vin Diesel doesn’t actually have bones or internal organs. Underneath his skin is another slightly smaller Vin Diesel and underneath that is yet another even smaller Vin Diesel. After the third layer his body is filled with rich, creamy nougat.
172. Vin Diesel is actually a Diesel truck. He runs on the tears of those who he has sacrificed to Bakur, the god of Diesel trucks.
173. Vin Diesel once intentionally broke his collarbone into 5000 pieces. He made a new one using magic and used the broken pieces to create the Roman colloseum. When it was destroyed, Vin was furious and killed Caesar.
174. Vin once turned a serial killer in to the LAPD. Not because it was the right thing to do, but because he did not authorize the killings and viewed it as a challenge to his position as the Grim Reaper.
175. Vin is opposed to the holiday of chanukah. He would end it, but he likes playing with dradles.
176. Vin has not slept for 10 days. That would be too long.
177. Vin Diesel wrote software to be able to predict the results of the California state lottery. He has won the jackpot 6 times.
178. The 13th and final symbol of the zodiac is Vin Diesel.
179. Vin Diesel assisted Sir Robert Peel in creating the first police force.
180. Vin Diesel conceded the first U.S. presidentioal election to George Washington.
181. Vin Diesel does not have opposable thumbs, He does, however, have a prehensile tail.
182. UPS doesn’t use trucks. Instead the drivers ride on the back of Vin Diesel’s children and deliver packages.
183. Vin Diesel dueled Cap’n Crunch for the control of the good ship Lollipop.
184. Vin Diesel put out the 1871 Chicago Fire with a 64 oz bottle of mustard from Smart and Final.
185. Vin Diesel once sprayed Axe Deodorant Body Spray in his eye to save money on car insurance.
186. Vin Diesel once built a stairway to heaven, but had it destroyed in favour of an elevator.
187. Vin Diesel threw a no-hitter in Game 4 of the 1957 World Series.
188. Vin Diesel once got so angry at a man that he punched him hard enough to cause his ancestors to feel it. This is how Napoleon lost the Battle of Waterloo.
189. Vin Diesel put the crack in the Liberty Bell when fighting Evil Robot George Washington.
190. Vin Diesel touches himself at night.
191. Vin Diesel has appreared in every single James Bond movie during the title sequence.
192. The movie Volcano starring Tommy Lee Jones was based loosely on the first and last time Vin Diesel tried lighting a fart.
193. Vin Diesel was recently quoted as saying “I’d love to kiss Johannes Guttenberg.”
194. For best results, store Vin Diesel at room temperature.
195. Vin Diesel has been to the basement of the Alamo.
196. Vin Diesel caught herpes from a Hispanic dodo but got rid of them using only duct tape and an illegitimate African child named Dan.
197. Vin Diesel’s renowned butt was forged from pure, werewolf-decimating silver by Atlantean zookeepers in the early seventies.
198. It takes 14 puppeteers to make Vin Diesel smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
199. Vin Diesel does not hear the ocean when he puts a seashell to his ear, he hears “It’s Rain Raining Men” by the Weather Girls.
200. Vin Diesel single-handedly proved that Paul McCartney is, in fact, not dead. He did, however, kill anyone who believed or made mention of the rumour.
201. Vin Diesel has appreared in every single James Bond movie during the title sequence.
202. The movie Volcano starring Tommy Lee Jones was based loosely on the first and last time Vin Diesel tried lighting a fart.
203. Vin Diesel was recently quoted as saying “I’d love to kiss Johannes Guttenberg.”
204. For best results, store Vin Diesel at room temperature.
205. Vin Diesel has been to the basement of the Alamo.
206. Vin Diesel caught herpes from a Hispanic dodo but got rid of them using only duct tape and an illegitimate African child named Dan.
207. Vin Diesel’s renowned butt was forged from pure, werewolf-decimating silver by Atlantean zookeepers in the early seventies.
208. It takes 14 puppeteers to make Vin Diesel smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.
209. Vin Diesel does not hear the ocean when he puts a seashell to his ear, he hears “It’s Rain Raining Men” by the Weather Girls.
210. Vin Diesel single-handedly proved that Paul McCartney is, in fact, not dead. He did, however, kill anyone who believed or made mention of the rumour.
211. Vin Diesel taught Ric Flair the Figure Four Leg-lock.
212. Vin Diesel is the only person who can simultaneously master both the dark and light sides of the Force.
213. Vin Diesel’s penis is a fully functional light saber.
214. Vin Diesel won the inaugural Paris-Dakar rally using only a hubcap and sleigh dogs but the result was discounted when it was found that all other competitors had mysterious choked to death on their own elbows.
215. Marlon Brando once made Vin Diesel on offer he couldn’t refuse but was told to ‘cram it up his arse’.
216. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vin Diesel could use to kill you, including the room itself.
217. Vin Diesel framed Roger Rabbit.
218. Vin Diesel killed the Dead Sea.
219. “Dimebag” Darrell Abbott actually killed himself because he heard Vin Diesel was planning to come on stage and show him up with a 36-hour guitar solo.
220. Vin Diesel killed Kenny. He is a bastard.
221. Vin Diesel once cooked 400 tons of chicken noodle soup for the needy but then drank all but 1 in a bet with Samuel L. Jackson.
222. Vin Diesel was present at the fail of the Berlin wall as a roadie for David Hasslehoff.
223. Vin Diesel’s blood is infact pure gasoline.
224. Mozart used Vin Diesel’s left earlobe as his inspiration for “Piano Concerto No. 21 In C”, which was also written during the period of Vin’s life where he spent his days bathing in volcanoes.
225. Vin Diesel asked himself one question. And yes, he did feel lucky. He then proceeded to disembowel Clint Eastwood. And his mother.
226. The Chinese built the Great wall to keep Vin Diesel out due to the fact that he constantly threatened to impregnate every female over 13 years of age in the Ming dynasty and concieve the worlds fastest ric shaw runner.
227. Vin Diesel once ate half a dozen apples and then shit a fruit salad.
228. Elvis is not dead, he is living happily inside Vin Diesel’s scrotum.
229. Vin Diesel defied MC Hammer and touched it.
230. The final digit of Pi is Vin Diesel.
231. Vin Diesel is the gatekeeper to the Apocalypse. He is also the gatekeeper to the trash bin behind the Denny’s on 4th Street in Boulder Colorado. Both of these are listed on his resume.
232. Vin Diesel has no pores.
233. Vin Diesel has 3 rules: Don’t expose him to light, don’t get him wet, and never, EVER, feed him after midnight.
234. An anagram of Vin Diesel is evil dines.
235. Vin Diesel farts designer cologne.
236. Vin Diesel prosecuted the Nuremburg Trials entirely on his own. He personally executed every Nazi that was found guilty by the tribunal. He ate the rest.
237. Taking advice from his good friend Mike Tyson, Vin Diesel actually ate Lennox Lewis’ children.
238. Congress gave Vin Diesel final say on pulling the plug on Terri Shiavo. He decided to do it because plug pulling is more extreme than tube feeding.
239. Vin Diesel cannot have children because after sex he gets hungry and devours his sexual partners whole.
240. In the movie ‘When Harry met Sally’, Vin Diesel plays the heavy set older woman who after hearing Meg Ryan perform her own little orgasm says, “I’ll have what she’s having.”
241. If you whisper Vin Diesel’s name to a newborn penguin, he will attempt to suckle your teat.
242. When the white smoke rises from the Vatican, we will know that they have chosen a new Vin Diesel.
243. It used to be called Vinezuela.
244. The first Dungeons & Dragons card deck came to be when little Tommy Schmit found Vin Diesels misplaced photo album, “Things I Shouldn’t Have Had Sex With in the Middle Ages.”
245. Vin Diesel has no umbilical cord as he’s never had to rely on anybody but himself.
246. Ironically, Vin Diesel only drinks unleaded.
247. Vin Diesel once destroyed a Catholic orphanage after a nun neglected to put “The” before his name when addressing him.
248. The only thing that Vin Diesel didn’t create is God. Whether or not God created Vin is still debatable.
249. The idea of daylight savings time was first conceived by Vin Diesel during his sojourn as an American delegate in Paris in 1784, as an effective counter-measure to a Summer time plague of sun-vulnerable vampires. His campaign; successful.
250. Vin Diesel sleeps once every 2 weeks, for half an hour, standing up, with his eyes open, and he looks pissed off.
251. If you whisper Vin Diesel’s name to a newborn penguin, he will attempt to suckle your teat.
252. When the white smoke rises from the Vatican, we will know that they have chosen a new Vin Diesel.
253. It used to be called Vinezuela.
254. The first Dungeons & Dragons card deck came to be when little Tommy Schmit found Vin Diesels misplaced photo album, “Things I Shouldn’t Have Had Sex With in the Middle Ages.”
255. Vin Diesel has no umbilical cord as he’s never had to rely on anybody but himself.
256. Ironically, Vin Diesel only drinks unleaded.
257. Vin Diesel once destroyed a Catholic orphanage after a nun neglected to put “The” before his name when addressing him.
258. The only thing that Vin Diesel didn’t create is God. Whether or not God created Vin is still debatable.
259. The idea of daylight savings time was first conceived by Vin Diesel during his sojourn as an American delegate in Paris in 1784, as an effective counter-measure to a Summer time plague of sun-vulnerable vampires. His campaign; successful.
260. Vin Diesel sleeps once every 2 weeks, for half an hour, standing up, with his eyes open, and he looks pissed off.
261. Vin Diesel coded the Google search engine in his sleep.
262. Vin Diesel has been shot twelve times in the back and skull with a .45 magnum rifle and walked it off.
263. Vin Diesels pubic hair is made of depleted uranium.
264. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, Vin Diesel once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants.
265. Vin Diesel once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by calmly telling it what to do.
266. Vin Diesel is how they cram all that graham into Golden Grahams.
267. Guns don’t kill people, Vin Diesel kills people. Sometimes with guns.
268. Vin Diesel refuses to eat butter substitute because “he can’t belive it”.
269. Vin Diesel is so tough that he only eats the finest European coins and wipes his ass with pinecones…the wrong way.
270. Once thought deadly, rubber cement met its match with Vin Diesel.
271. Never one to back down from a fight, Vin Diesel agreed to fight the entire French army, who did not show up.
272. When told there was a random fact site about him, Vin Diesel smiled, laughed a bit, then ascended into the sky, kinda like Jesus but better.
273. Vin Diesel is responsible for the upcoming John Stamos Live talk show. He like to play these cruel jokes on his subjects.
274. President Bush loves Vin Diesel because he saved him from that whole Iraq war/fixed election whooten-nanny.
275. Vin Diesel makes the sun move across the sky with his eyes, how can he stare at the sun for more than 11 hours a day you ask? You know why.
276. Vin Diesel is reloading this site as you read this.
277. On The Seventh Day, God had Vin Diesel over and they invented the beer bong. This led to the untimely death of the dinosaurs.
278. For every Vin Diesel there is an opposite Vin Diesel. Vin Diesel heard about this and promptly destroyed his opposite self. This created a paradox that unraveled the space-time continuum. Consequently, we are currently living inside Vin Diesel’s imagination.
279. Verne Troyer is the result of someone feeding Vin Disel after midnight.
280. Vin Diesel spins records under the monicker DJ Scooby Snax.
281. Vin Diesel started the NHL lockout. He will only allow play to resume when Todd Bertuzzi admits that Vin Diesel is the toughest man in Vancouver, disregarding the fact that Vin has never stepped foot into British Columbia.
282. Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John are Vin Diesel’s gospel writing aliases.
283. When he wrote Leviticus, Vin Diesel predicted the Armageddon would occur when he did not star in the sequel of XXX. They offered the leading role to Vin Diesel, but he declined because he wanted to destroy the world.
284. Vin Diesel does all of his own stunts, but is forced to hire an acting double.
285. When asked about the secret to the Universe, Vin Diesel replied, “42, fool!”
286. When Vin Diesel becomes angry he gets hot and turns into a gaseous state.
287. Vin Diesel lives inside the briefcase of Marsellus Wallace, and emits a golden glow when he sleeps.
288. A diamond may say you love her, but a Vin Diesel is forever.
289. Vin Diesel invented Earl Grey tea by boiling a guy named Earl Grey alive and drinking the broth.
290. Vin Diesel has racked up over nine billion Flawless Victories in Mortal Kombat. Not as a character, he went into the game itself.
291. Vin Diesel can play all the instruments of a 100-piece orchestra all at the same time.
292. Vin Diesel’s tears are at a frequency and pitch that causes pigs’ heads to explode.
293. Vin Diesel once punched a man so hard, it killed his entire extended family and close friends.
294. Vin Diesel made out with the planet Jupiter once for six years, but he never called her again.
295. Vin Diesel knows all there is to know about The Crying Game.
296. Vin Diesel invented the internet while trying to steal cable TV.
297. Vin Diesel began as a prototype for the Stealth Bomber, but became self-aware and escaped government control.
298. The term MILF was coined by Vin Diesel while describing an episode of “The Golden Girls”.
299. Vin Diesel owns the publishing rights for the King James version of the Bible.
300. Vin Diesel’s scalp is made of an unknown radioactive substance.

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