Funny facts about Vin Diesel #6
March 24, 2008 on 1:05 am | In Other Facts | No Comments- Vin Diesel does, in fact, dream of electric sheep despite not being an android.
- Contrary to popular belief Kevin Spacey is not Keyser Soze, Vin Diesel is.
- Four of the Five Books of Moses were inspired by Vin Diesel’s experiences as a pastoral nomad during the Middle Bronze Age.
- Vin Diesel was the only Spartan to survive the Battle of Thermopylae; although he tried to take his own life after his comrades had fallen, he was stopped by the god Odin in order so that, as the god told him, he would “break the seventh seal.” This was done four years ago.
- Vin Diesel wanted a nipple ring but his skin was unable to be penetrated by the tattooist’s needle.
- Vin Diesel is made of clay.
- Vin Diesel must be stored at STP conditions or he will combust.
Funny facts about Vin Diesel #5
March 23, 2008 on 2:21 am | In Other Facts | No Comments- I’ve got a fever, and the only cure…is more Vin Diesel.
- Vin Diesel used to say, “The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee,” before killing someone because he thought it was some cold-blooded shit. But then he realized it was just wasted time that he could be spending eating Subway sandwiches or deflowering virgins.
- Vin Diesel attributes his popularity to the fact that he is a cunning linguist.
- Vin Diesel was once in a bar room brawl with Hulk Hogan, Regis Philbin, the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders, and Tyrannosaurus Rex. The argument started when Philbin claimed that Steven Segal could whip Jean Claude Van Damme’s ass. Hogan begged to differ. Vin claimed he could take them both, blindfolded. Everyone became enraged, and things boiled over. The T-Rex was taking his evening jog (because his fiancé told him he’s starting to get a beer belly) and just happened to see the commotion, so he took the opportunity to get a quick snack. Vin ate him too, and later remarked that he was much more ‘sinewy’ than the cheerleaders.
- No one can kill Vin Diesel, for a microchip surgically implanted onto his heart will release a deadly bio-chemical gas that will destroy the world.
- When the world finally ends, Vin Diesel will clotheline the 3rd Horseman of the Apocolypse and steal his horse.
- Vin Diesel’s semen is so corrosive that if he were ever to ejaculate it would tear apart the very fabric of the universe.
Funny facts about Vin Diesel #4
March 22, 2008 on 4:50 am | In Other Facts | No Comments- Star Wars was based on Vin’s real life experience in another galaxy. Interestingly there were no Ewoks, droids, starships, jedi, or aliens, but there were lightsabers. Good god were there lightsabers…
- The greatest trick Vin Diesel ever pulled was to convince the world the devil didn’t exist.
- Vin Diesel shot the sheriff, but he did not shoot the deputy; he ate him alive instead.
- The odds of experiencing an encounter with the elusive Vin Diesel are approximately 52,932,018,490,314 to 1… If you are lucky enough to see him; you will experience 10 seconds of good fortune until you are brutally devoured by Vin’s mind… Yes he can eat you with his mind because he is that awesome.
- For every five messiahs, a Vin Diesel is born.
- An assassination attempt was taken upon Vin Diesel’s life; he was poisoned, shot repeatedly, beaten, and then tossed into an icy river. He later rose from the river in the springtime and proceeded to savagely destroy downtown Tokyo. The events were later written recorded in written form and became known as Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
- Contrary to another fact on this site, Rome was not built in a day; it only took Vin Diesel 5 hours.
Keywords: Facts,Daily,Amusing,Vin Diesel,Wars,Fun,Funny,Chocolate
Funny facts about Vin Diesel #3
March 21, 2008 on 12:57 am | In Other Facts | No Comments- The Matrix is based on a theory Vin Diesel had about how glow sticks work.
- The moon actually revolves around Vin Diesel, and tides are controlled by his bowel movements. Indigestion often leads to mass destruction.
- If you look in the mirror and say “Vin Diesel” three times, he will appear.
- The Passion of the Christ is really Vin Diesel’s story, but Mel Gibson couldn’t afford the rights.
- He once explained time travel to a group of apes using a stick and 3 marbles. They would turn out to be out ancestors. The marbles, that is.
- Vin Diesel’s X-ray vision causes cancer. He uses this fact to comedic effect at parties.
- It has been said that Vin Diesel will the last being alive when the universe comes to an end. It is for this reason he invented pornography.
Keywords: Facts,Daily,Amusing,Vin Diesel,Mel Gibson,Fun,Funny
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